myself.now limited series episode breakdown
By: Kamajhia
A breakdown of the five episodes from the visual limited series myself.now which is based on the poetry book “myself.now” So let’s go in-depth shall we?
EPISODE 1: EPIC SCENE
“Bring back the lovin feeling?” but how?
The episode begins with a woman’s hesitation of starting anew, while dwelling in the misery of reality. As the she sits outside with a boombox, drink in hand, and art supplies, the mind is so stuck on negativity that it’s hard for her to be present in the moment. There are moments in our lives when seasons change and we may not know how to navigate those feelings of change. The canvas symbolizes a blank page. While staring at a blank canvas to have a clear headspace, the woman still holds on to sadness and rage.
It comes to a point when you just don’t know what to do, but let go and start fresh. Whatever is felt at the moment… just write it down, draw it, paint it, whatever it is, LET IT OUT! After her creativity sparks on the canvas, a hint of small dopamine arises to celebrate. Whether it’s big or small, taking action feels like a win. However, at the end, a continuous cycle of self-destruction is at play.
EPISODE 2: VALUE
“Why can’t you see the value in me?”
The value in connections tend to be overlooked. We want to be accepted for who we are, right? We can be so compassionate, loving, kind, selfless, but for some reason we don’t get that in return. We can be liked but not valued. This episode channels the inner struggle of being seen. The desire to have someone love us for who we are, but the validation is never filled. “Why bother the need of me, when you don’t even like me.” It can make us feel that our presence in someone’s life doesn’t matter. The only time we matter is if someone needs us for something, but that’s it. At the end, the woman celebrates her own importance of value. Accepting things that she can’t control and deciding to keep moving forward. The word “value” takes a powerful hold in the root of relationships that shouldn’t be taken lightly.
EPISODE 3: INFATUATION
“Withold me to a degree, but no where to perceive.”
Ahh the exhilaration of someone finally liking us, but on what level? The expectations of being infatuated can have its pitfalls. It can involve putting someone on a pedestal and seeing them through “rose-colored glasses.” However, later on you’re disappointed when the reality of who they are doesn’t align with your idealized image. Also, often based on surface-level attraction or infatuation rather than a deep emotional connection.
In the episode, the aftermath of infatuation fades from someone who leads the woman into a “crash-out.” When you thought you finally met the one who will shower you with love and affection and ends up doing nothing is such a punch in the gut. We want to be loved and adored. We can give so much, but on the other side it’s take, take, take. When they are no longer interested it makes you question what went wrong. Maybe they got the wrong idea. Maybe it was something you said and they got turned off. Who honestly knows. It’s like repeating the same pattern with different people which can leave us wondering when this cycle will end.
EPISODE 4: EXHALE
“Pretty love you’re going to be okay.”
Take a deep breath, inhale, then… hello, are you still here? Our thoughts are trapped from absorbing current events that have affected us negatively. It can be hard to breathe into the present moment. The episode showcases the beats and echoes of passing thoughts. Whether it comes to connections fading or rejection after rejection, it’s such a struggle to exhale from things out of our control. A routine so crucial that self-sabotaging tends to hover. Once the woman realizes that she’s in control of her own thoughts and actions, she slowly surrenders and lets go of what’s not serving her. A shift occurs by accepting the things that didn’t go as planned was actually a blessing in disguise. Suddenly thoughts starts to get clearer and quieter. She decides to change her mindset and take a leap towards self-love.
EPISODE 5: UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
“Godspeed to unconditional love.”
The beginning of a self-love journey is inevitable. A montage of clips from a personal journey of finding a sense of self in a new environment. These moments captured the essence of myself.now poetry book. Unconditional love for others and self-love carry a deep unwavering affection and acceptance that you have for yourself, regardless of flaws or imperfections. The woman starts treating herself with kindness, compassion, and understanding without judgment. For example, self-dates, exploring new hobbies, and enjoying her own company. She knows that her self-worth isn’t based on external validation or achievements. It’s from within and who she is as a human. When combined with unconditional love for others, self-love creates a balanced and nurturing relationship where you can give and receive to love freely which is rooted in self-respect and personal acceptance.
myself.now limited series is available to stream on Youtube! To read more poems, purchase the poetry book “myself.now” by Kamajhia on Amazon! Stay tuned for more updates and latest projects!